A Terrifying Morning

I was sitting in the recliner, plugging away on a spreadsheet with Lil Dog on the footrest and Tiny next to me in another chair. I had the backdoor slightly open so that they could come and go throughout the day. Then it happened. I heard an animal running on the back deck and it sounded like it was headed straight for the door. I panicked. Literally, panicked.

I had visions of bloodshed: Tiny has never met a cat, she is going to want to play with it and it will claw her eyes out and possibly eat her! Lil Dog hates cats, she is going to attack it and partially kill it and then I will be left with someones pet, half-dead, on the living room floor.

All of this was running through my head as I tried to scramble out of the chair, with Lil Dog laying on my legs, laptop in my lap, two phones, a mouse, a power cord. NONE OF MY LIMBS OR ELECTRONICS (or Lil Dog) WOULD COOPERATE AND MOVE QUICKLY ENOUGH! The sound was getting closer, the animal was coming in the house! It sounded huge and was jingling like it had a collar. OMG someone has a domesticated PUMA! My dogs are going to die!

Then it happened:

In walked Tiny. Apparently she was not in the chair next to me. My chest hurt for a few minutes after that. I think that is what a heart attack feels like. I also think that is the amount of adrenaline necessary to lift a car off of a baby.

Note: I blame my overly dramatic reaction on my dramatic friends. Clearly they are rubbing off on me. 

Tiny Dog Goes to Disneyland

I had dinner at my parents' house the other night. My brother was also there, which means that there were 4 dogs in their typically 1 dog household. Over the course of the evening, it came to light that when my brother is packing up the dogs to go to my parents's, he asks them "Do you want to go to Disneyland?!" The dogs now associate this phrase with going to my parents' house.

I guess it is Disneyland for them...people food, new furniture to sit on, more people to snuggle with, and a different yard to run around.

Tiny likes my parents' house, but it isn't her Disneyland. Her Disneyland is Aimee's parents' house. Their backyard is more her speed...it's currently a fabulous doggy play-land. They are in the process of installing a new above-ground pool which will be partially sunk, so their backyard is loaded with all types of amazing, fun things if you're a dog. For example, it currently has:

• Several different types of terrain: a deck, grass, a big sandy hole, and stairs
• A "club house": The underside of the steps that lead up to the pool are not accessible when there is a pool, but when there isn't, it becomes an incredible, sandy club house. 
• Piles of sand that are so much fun to dig-in and often hold little buried treasures
• The sandy hole does double duty as a racetrack

  

The sweet, sweet (and sandy) clubhouse! 

A pile of sand AND a stick? Doggie heaven. 

Nom nom nom   

Even if the pool was already in, this place would still be like Disneyland. The yard is huge and has tons of fun stuff to explore. There is a lemon tree that that puts up a great game of tog-of-war, the neighbors' tree hangs over the yard so there are always a few sticks to play with, the various chairs, tables, and benches are a great place to pretend to be a mountain goat, and there is usually a small baby pool for the dogs to take a dip in.

Yeah, this place is Tiny's Disneyland. She plays until she can't play anymore, then she gets hosed off, and by the time she makes it to the car, she is so tired that all she can do is curl up on the back seat and sleep. And, since a tired puppy is a well behaved puppy, it's no wonder Aimee's parents think she is so sweet and snugly.

More than once Aimee has gotten a call from her mom where she asks, "Is Tiny coming to Tinyland today?" Yes, she now refers to it as Tinyland. Afterall, it is Tiny's own magical world of fun.

Doggie Dentures

At the rate my dog is losing her teeth, she is going to need dentures. 

I knew going into this that Tiny would lose her baby teeth and get adult teeth. But, for some reason, I thought this would happened and I wouldn't really notice or play a role in the process. A couple of weeks ago, I was chugging along on an extraordinarily interesting spreadsheet, when I heard a noise. The pounce and scamper part of the racket I was familiar with; Tiny picking something up, tossing it in the air, chasing it, and then pouncing on it. The rest of the noise, the tink tink tink, was new. 

"Tiny?! What are you playing with that you are not supposed to have?" I asked as if she would run up to me, drop it at my feet, and offer a logical explanation. 

After a quick game of chase around the house and an attempt to fish the mystery object out of mouth, she dropped it on the ground. I scooped it up and thought, "What is that?" 

Oh! Gross. 

It was puppy molar. A freshly pulled, still gooey, puppy molar. Yeah, my thoughts exactly. That's why there aren't any pictures for this post. 

This has now happened 4 times, the most recent this morning. Much to Tiny's dismay, I am not letting her place them under her pillow in hopes of new toys or treats appearing in the morning. On the contrary, she usually finds herself in Puppy Jail after losing a tooth. 

Now that my dog has fewer teeth in her mouth than a non-denture wearing Mrs. Brady, the teething is out of control. More specifically, her launching herself at me and latching on to my arm as if I were a suspect in a police chase and she was a member of the K9 squad, is out of control. 

I know her poor little mouth hurts and she is uncomfortable; the blood on the towel she likes to chew on is evidence. But, that doesn't mean I am an acceptable chew toy. So to the kennel she goes with a few soft toys, the frozen washcloth that is tied in a knot seems to be her favorite. 

Once she has settled down and soothed her gums, she makes bail...until she batdogs, thinks she is on the police force, or fails to remove her paws from the dining room table while I'm eating. 

All That Jazz

Hello again. I know it's been awhile. I know you missed us, I know you probably lost sleep over the heartbreak that we were gone for so long. You probably wondered if something had happened. Did I finally have enough and Sarah Mclachlan Tiny Dog? Did Tiny Dog run away or finally get eaten by Lil Dog? No, no, no, I have just been busy. Believe me, Tiny Dog has given me plenty of material. I just wish I could capture more of it on camera. 

I'll post separately about most her antics later, but here's the quick update to give you a taste of what's been going on: 

• Tiny Dog is not so tiny anymore (23 lbs! WHAT?), but she no longer seems to grow every time she takes a nap. 
• Tiny Dog has successfully slept outside of her kennel at night a few times, but also has been tossed in Puppy Jail for the nights when she fails to grasp the meaning of bedtime. 
• Tiny Dog knows a handful of words - sit, potty, come, and puppy jail. That last of which results in her diving under the couch.
• Potty training is going really well. No accidents for a week or so, but we always backslide at some point.
• Tiny Dog loves the dog park more than she loves anything, more than she loves me or food. And she really loves the dogs that weigh in at over 150 lbs. 
• Tiny Dog built a clubhouse and has become a hoarder. 
• Tiny Dog made yet another trip to the vet.
• And last but not least, both Tiny Dog and Lil Dog love old Jazz.

Yes, both dogs love the classics on the Singers and Swing station. Eta James, Billie Holiday, the Rat Pack? Yes, all of them. The music works like a magic sedative that is administered via the ears. I can pop in an Eta James CD or turn on the music station (thank God for fancy TV) and they associate it with nap time. Or maybe they find it so boring that it lulls them into a coma? Eh, whatever works. 

Case in point, this is what they look like right now while Billy Eckstine croons "That's All."

Look how big Tiny Dog is! She is bigger than Lil Dog!

My Dog Trained with Mr. Miyagi

Lil Dog recently decided that she no longer likes her pricey dog food and instead wants to eat Tiny's puppy food. Can't say I blame her considering she is on weight control food, but it's also completely counter productive to her weight loss regiment for her to be eating puppy food. 

Lil Dog was not food aggressive when Tiny first appeared on the scene. The only trouble spot was the Kong. It was filled with delicious treats so if Tiny walked away, Lil Dog seized the opportunity to take it over. When Tiny would return to the Kong, she was greeted with a snarl and nip. This was easily fixed, Tiny gets the Kong when she is in the kennel or Lil Dog is not around. 

Unfortunately, the food aggression has now spilled over to Lil Dog scarfing down Tiny's food so fast she chokes while body blocking/snarling/nipping at Tiny when she tries to eat her own food. Tiny has decided to take matters into her own hands paws to address both this and Lil Dog's Kong behavior. 

Tiny has learned that she does not enjoy being snarled at and nipped at, so her latest approach is to walk past Lil Dog, lift her back leg (similar to when a boy dog lifts his leg to pee), and slowly karate kick Lil Dog in the face to move her out of the food bowl. It's brilliant. If she is going to get bit, it's on the leg not in the face, and it more or less accomplishes her goal. Plus it's insanely funny to witness. 

My Dog is a Beast

I’ve switched to dollar store toys, because my dog is a beast.

Tiny and Lil Dog were hanging out with me while I worked. Tiny was being unusually good. I turned around to check on here and discovered why she was being unusually good.

It used to look like this:

More evidence my dog is a beast:

Her water dish outside is a very large Pyrex mixing bowl. It’s the only dish in the house that is too heavy for her to pick-up and walk around with.

The 2 Dura Chew bones had to be tossed because she is now eating some of the nubs off of the bones (these nubs are not supposed to come off and they are not edible).

She chewed through her harness – she is now rocking a dollar store harness since this has become a habit. The new harness is blue and reflective (I tend to lose her in the yard at night). The blue harness and pink collar throw people off. I just tell them she is gender-creative.

Her leather leash, which I bought for its durability since my parents have had the same leather leash since the 70’s, now looks like this:

Fortunately, these are the things she chews on, not the furniture, baseboards, or sheetrock. Oh, but she did eat the old cable line that used to run to the house. I guess it’s a good thing we switched service providers.

Boredom means trouble

This rain has GOT TO GO! The less outside playtime Tiny Dog gets, the more personalities she develops. My goal is to get my multi-personality dog down to two personalities. One for tired and sweet and one for awake and happy. The other personalities she is currently working are: batdog, chupacabra, and s*&#head. The more exercise she gets the better behaved she is, this is not breaking news. Every dog owner knows this.

But it’s July and it’s the South, which means rain and lots of it. The problem with July rain is that it’s not just rain. It’s a torrential downpour served with a heaping side of thunder. Tiny doesn’t mind the rain, she’ll run around the yard completely oblivious to it. That is until the thunder starts. And as you saw in the Thunder Buddies post, Tiny will have no part of that.

So this leaves me with a 4 month old puppy with a lot of energy in a 900 sq. ft house. I was hoping to take Tiny to the dog park this weekend for her first visit, but as I sit here typing this, while listening to the rumble of thunder outside, it’s not looking so promising. The forecast calls for rain, rain, and more rain. And Facebook is telling me that downtown is flooded already, lovely. WOMP WOMP WOMP.

So activities for the day have consisted of this:

• Chased Tiny off the couch twice
• Fussed at her for bat dogging 15 times
• Removed my flip flop from her mouth 3 times
• Stopped her from eating the carpet once
• Told her to stop barking at the guitar because it was not her enemy

The day is only half over and my little batdog has a lot of energy left. If anyone has any tips for indoor entertainment for puppies, I am all ears.